Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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