You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
