I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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