just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
