i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
