Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ๐๐#pensacolaproblems
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah Iโd say sheโs rebounding from the divorce
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