Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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