Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
