She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it's like iHOP with fire
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
