Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
