Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
