But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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