i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
