Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
