Dual....:-)
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
babies were throwing up all over the place
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
