I want to stick my p in your. b.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize