That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
