You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
