Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
