I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize