dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
