Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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