I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize