I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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