Dual....:-)
I think my vagina is haunted
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
