lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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