he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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