No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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