The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
