why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
