you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My liver just broke up with me...
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
