I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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