how can u be prego again
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
