You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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