Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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