is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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