i don't like sucking hair
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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