He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
