it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
