im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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