do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
