another moral hangover. fuck.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize