Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
