She is in my trunk
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
