omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We had to coat check the pizza.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
