so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
