Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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