Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
