glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize