There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
