i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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