Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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