Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize