i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
