hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
