Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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