God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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