shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
