He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
