tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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