i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
