Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize