On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize