Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
