none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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