Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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