final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
