4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
