If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize