i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
