she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
