This girl is more easily done than said...
I could make wine with my vomit
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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