Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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