Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
